I'm mostly blind, and I've had guide dogs for a huge chunk of my adult life. My second, Molly, died two years ago, and I now have my third, Jemma. (#LeaderDogJemma on the social web). Since people have been so interested in my journey, I created this Leader Dog Chronicles category on my site and am sharing our story. I'm also working on a book!
Just when I started telling my friends and family about getting a new guide dog, I would have the dreaded encounter with my chief kaboshing officer, who is also someone who loves me dearly. She simply hates change.
Always a Nay-Sayer
Have you noticed that whenever you make a big decision, there's always one person among your family or friends who'll kibosh you? I know exactly who that will be in my family, and whenever I am making a big change, I know not to talk to her at all, because she'll come up with a hundred justifications why what I want is wrong.
The closer you are to living your purpose, the more imminent your encounter with negativity in the form of nay-sayers will be. It's part of the road of trials we all face. I faced it around getting my new "eyes." You'll face it around whatever your big change happens to be. I hope this will help you gain clarity and relax into the journey of dealing with your version of this issue.
When I decided it was time to get a guide dog from a school, I immediately set my mind, heart and actions on making it happen as soon as possible. I told the folks at Leader Dogs that I'd jump on a plane tomorrow if they had a dog for me. Getting a dog was right for me.
Here's a photo of my beautiful new #LeaderDogJemma.
Oh how I dreaded telling my mom, because I predicted with 100 per cent accuracy what she'd do, even though her actual words stunned me to the core. I told friends and other family members first, and had a lot of support and encouragement from them.
You and the detractor care about each other, otherwise their opinion wouldn't matter to you one bit.
Mom hates change. She doesn't mean to be the thunderclap of dom, but if it's a big change, she will always resist. Note that I seldom use such a strong word as "always," but it fits.
A BAD Idea?
Here's exactly what she said: "That's a BAD idea." Insert derisive nasal voice tone here.
She didn't answer. Sure, I had said I would do without a dog, but that's before I simply couldn't have the level of contentment in my life without one. I simply could not do it and be anywhere near happy.
I love my mom, and I knew she'd come around eventually, especially once the dog was with me, being helpful and adorable. What made her reaction so difficult for me is that even though we're next door neighbors who see each other a couple times a day, she was oblivious to the depth of my pain and my need for a dog. Though seeing me every day, she could not see my pain and depression, though it was plain to others who see me much less often.
How Do I Handle the Nay-Sayer?
I'm sure you've had a similar experience when making a big change in your own life, so here are some tips to help you get through it.
- Talk to your supporters first. You want to bolster your decision and your confidence about it being right for you. That means you don't want to have some immediately prick a pin in your balloon. So build your support network.
- Arrange to speak with a good friend or other trusted supporter for right after you tell the chief kabosher about your big decision.
- Begin the encounter with your nay-sayer by addressing the touchy subject. You'll only build up more anxiety if you circle around a dozen other topics and screw your courage enough to bring up the Real Talk.
- Don't take the apparent rejection personally
- Keep your emotions in check. This person THINKS she is acting in your best interest..
- Share the pros and cons you weighed before coming to the conclusion this is the right move for you. This may or may not help the other understand, but it will remind you of your journey of realization.
- Make it a short talk, then have a reason to leave (like leaving for work, fixing dinner, a conference call or what3ever). In other words, get in, get 'r' done and get out. You'll need to unjangle your nerves!
- Above all, remember this is your decision and your life. Honestly, nobody else needs to approve; it's simply more helpful if those with whom you spend a lot of time are on board.
- Be sure to commiserate with a supporter.
When the Dust Settles
Keep strong in your truth about what is right for you in your life. Your nay7-sayer will come around eventually. You'll probably never get an apology, maybe not even an explanation, fro your nay-sayer, but that isn't important. You know her and you know why she acts that way. She'll come around in the end.
My mom and I are still as close as ever. She adores Jemma. The other day, after she had said what a wonderful dog Jemma is and how happy she is that I have her, I said, "Not such a bad idea after all, was it?"
Follow Leader Dog Jemma on the Social Web
Jemma is a busy dog. Not only is she my guide, toy reviewer and treat tester, but she also shares her adventures in her own voice on her own Facebook page and Instagram Feed.
- Watch for her hashtag is #LeaderDogJemma
- LIKE Jemma's Facebook Page: Leader Dog Jemma's Adventures
- FOLLOW Jemma's Instagram photos: LeaderDogJemma on Instagram
- WATCH her videos in the Leader Dog Jemma's adventures YouTube Playlist
- READ about her Leader Dog Chronicles
Please share this all over the social web!
Follow your B.L.I.S.S.
Ronda Del Boccio
#1 best selling author, speaker, and Amazon Top Reviewer
About Ronda Del Boccio
Ronda Del Boccio is an award-winning and best selling author of both fiction and nonfiction. She tells transformational tales and helps visionary authors turn their dreams and imaginings into published books. See and order Ronda's books on Amazon.
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